A client from Atlanta, GA, recently asked the following
question: “What exactly is a fetish? I’m
afraid I may have a fetish for women’s underwear.”
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For anyone who has the
same question, simply put, a fetish is an object or a situation that creates an
obsessive sexual desire or arousal in an individual. Now, to be clear, finding
something such as women’s underwear erotic is does not necessarily mean that a
person is suffering from sexual fetishism. An object of arousal or a fantasy
can be a perfectly normal part of a healthy sex life.
Such a fascination can be
defined as fetishism when it crosses the line into obsession or dependence, or
when it creates dysfunction in other areas such as your social life or your
work. Additionally, a fetish becomes troublesome when you can no longer become
aroused in the absence of that object; so if you are unable to become aroused
without using or thinking about, for instance, women’s underwear, you may have
a problem.
Finally, if the fetish
causes you distress, causes feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, depression, if
it infringes on other people’s rights, or it is associated with illegal
activities -- such as stealing women’s underwear – you definitely need to seek
treatment. A sex therapist can help you sort out your feelings and detach you
from your dependence on that one sexual object, so that you can explore and
experience a diverse sexual life.
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